Ponderings from one thankful mother’s heart:
Over the years my dad has been known to ask questions like, “What does Christmas mean to you this year?” So this weekend I have been thinking about Easter and what Easter means to me from a whole new perspective and with great appreciation.
Three big things stick out to me this year.
I have been reading through the bible at a slow pace for quite some time. My readings these days are from Leviticus. There are pages and pages or rules and laws that are humanly impossible to keep. It would be impossible for me to have a good relationship with God and ask for any help from Him if I had to keep all of those rules. I couldn’t keep it all straight. Jesus came and changed that though. So, as I ponder Easter, I am thankful for what He did, and that I can have relationship with my Heavenly Father because of Him.
As I sit here typing, I am missing Josh terribly. He has had to work and has been sick, so he is not with Nehemiah and I. I know God is with me. (Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. That is one area God has abundantly blessed me. He has let me feel Him close through all of this.) But, I feel alone because I miss Josh so terribly. As I feel this and think about Easter, I keep remembering how Jesus asked the Father why he had forsaken Him. (Matthew 27:46) He understands what it is like to feel so alone. He did it for me, so that I could come to Him and the Father and have a relationship with Him. It makes me so very thankful for what He did. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it for someone who wasn’t even born, yet.
Nehemiah has had a bad day. He has had a tummy ache most of the day that has left his heart rate racing dangerously high, and it has been very hard for me to watch him suffer so and not be able to do anything about it. He is my only son. As I ponder Easter this year, I have a new understanding and appreciation of John 3:16. God gave His only son to suffer so that if I believe in Him, I have eternal life. Wow. He sent his only son to suffer so that I could live. Nehemiah is my only son. It kills me to watch him suffer, but God knows how I feel. And, I can have the comfort of that from Him because of what He and Jesus did.