Following God with Courage

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be

afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Loving & Respecting my Husband Homework... Continued

Thursday's homework was to write down three things about your appearance that you can change, which he is sure to like.
  1. Shave more often.
  2. Get dressed up just to go out with him.
  3. Wear my hair down long the way he likes it.

Friday's Homework (that I did not get poasted on Friday) was: List three things that you can do to your house that will please him.

  1. Get him a new shower curtin.
  2. Let him pick where some things go in the kitchen.
  3. Get all my stuff out of "his" room/office so that he can have his space.

Saturday's Homework is to write three things you can do that will make him feel like he is THE MAN.

  1. Bake for him more often.
  2. Praise the things he does for me to him and brag to others about how great he is to me.
  3. Be more willing to do what he says. Esteem or think highly of how he wants to do things and what he wants done. Differ to him more often.


Sunday's Homework is to plan three things you can respond to him in front of others that will show a heart of respect and honor toward him.

Until next time...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

3 Things I can do to Encourage my Husband

Yesterday, my homework was to write down three things that I can do that will be an encouragement to my husband. Here they are:

  • Praise him. Complement what he has done. Complement him on trying to do stuff. Complement his heart on wanting to do stuff. Praise him. Make him feel good about who he is and what he does, but be careful to be sincere. He will know if I am not.
  • Touch him more. One of his primary love languages is physical touch. So, even though I am busy and might not be in the mood to be affectionate, make sure I spend time everyday being affectionate to him... and especially don't push him away when he approaches me.
  • Put notes in his lunch box just to say "I love you, and I'm thankful for you."

Today's homework:

Write down three things about your appearance that you can change, which he is sure to like.

100 Things I Love About My Husband

100. He loves God.
99. He reads his bible every day.
98. He prays for me.
97. He prays with me.
96. He reads the bible with me.
95. He leads our family of two to go to God with everything.
94. When I have a problem, he points me to God.
93. He reminds me to pray.
92. He helps me with the dishes.
91. He helps me with the cleaning when I need it.
90. He washes my clothes.
89. He does a good job washing my clothes even though they are complicated.
88. He likes my Sunday School class.
87. He joined my church when we were dating and still likes to go.
86. He has a lot of friends.
85. He keeps up with his friends even when they move to other places.
84. He shares his friends with me.
83. He is great with my nieces.
82. He is loves kids.
81. He doesn't pressure me.
80. He tells me I am great just as I am.
79. He thinks I'm beautiful.
78. He is great to talk to.
77. He shares with me.
76. He watches TV with me... even though he doesn't like it.
75. He pulls for my football team... even though he doesn't like football.
74. He shares his creative ideas with me.
73. When I have a need, he will use "his" spending money to get it for me.
72. He wears colored socks for me.
71. He wears jeans for me.
70. He is taller than me.
69. He is bigger than me.
68. He eats my cooking.
67. He lets me cook him healthy stuff.
66. He loves my ugly cakes.
65. He brags on my cooking.
64. He does not pressure me.
63. He takes care of me when I'm sick.
62. He lets me hang around the house in my PJ's.
61. He tries to relieve my stress.
60. He gives great back rubs.
59. He gives great foot massages.
58. He makes me pancakes.
57. He makes me waffles.
56. He brings me breakfast in bed.
55. He likes to bring me flowers.
54. He has a giving spirit.
53. He still hugs his mom and dad.
52. He still hugs his sisters.
51. He is protective on his sisters.
50. He doesn't let me walk at night in dark clothing.
49. He helps his mom and dad all he can... even though it is not always something he likes to do.
48. He volunteers to help me at my job when I have to go in on Holidays.
47. He helps me do the heavy lifting part of my job... moving tables and chairs to set up a meeting room.
46. He does his job... even though he doesn't really like it.
45. He does the yard work.
44. He takes pride in taking out the trash.
43. He helps me get ready for company coming over.
42. He takes care of my dog just like I would.
41. He took my dog on our honeymoon.
40. He lets my dog get in bed with me when I am sick.
39. He offers to cook for me when I have had a bad day at work.
38. He's a reader.
37. He reads to me.
36. He likes to sing Christmas carols.
35. He is trying to be more festive at Christmas just because it is my favorite time of the year.
34. He celebrates my birthday.
33. He shares his family with me.
32. He gave me a grandmother that thinks I am great.
31. He takes baths for me.
30. He is affectionate in public.
29. He likes to hold my hand.
28. He lets me hang on his arm.
27. He makes me laugh.
26. He knows the kind of chocolate I like... even though I don't like all chocolate.
25. He is really good at brushing my hair.
24. He fixed my DVD player.
23. He fixed my CD player.
22. He changes the oil on my car.
21. He does other routine maintenance on my car.
20. He lets me workout.
19. When my schedule get hairy, he helps me workout.
18. He supports my fitness hobby.
17. He makes me coffee.
16. He likes Stargate SG-1.
15. He likes Stargate Atlantis.
14. He watches NCIS with me.
13. He lets me put spinach in stuff.
12. He doesn't like brown.
11. He likes salad.
10. He likes my salad dressing.
09. He likes well made, quality things.
08. He turns off bad movies.
07. He doesn't let horror into our house.
06. He takes a stand for the stuff he believes.
05. His beliefs are not easily swayed.
04. He encourages me everyday.
03. He hopes for the best.
02. He points me to God.
01. He loves me.

And many more...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

How to Properly Appreciate and not Interfeer with My Husband.

Yesterday, I gave myself two questions to answer for homework. They required a lot of thought and prayer. Here are my answers.

The first question I ask myself to answer was to list one way I can show appreciation for my husband. Well, one way I can show appreciation for my husband is through my speech to him and others. I have come to realize after my prayer that he really needs to hear me praise him. Last night I started by praising him to his mom and dad while we were at their house visiting. However, I have come to realize that I need to make a conscious effort to sincerely praise him everyday. This will not be easy. I have high expectations. I am a perfectionist. But, my husband is worth it. That is the decision I have to make. He is worth it, and he needs it. So, I make the decision today to find ways to praise him and to brag on him and to mean it.

The second question I gave myself involved figuring out how to "not interfere" with my husband or how to not be a hindrance or an obstacle. Well... the answer that God showed me for this one will not be easy. It involves submission. As I looked up submission, this is what I found:

  • Submission - The act of submitting to the power of another, or the state of being compliant; meekness. Synonyms are pliancy (easily bent or flexed; easily altered or modified to fit conditions; yielding readily to influence), softness (easily molded; not loud, harsh or irritating; a gentle disposition, tender) , goodness (the state of being good; beneficial), tameness (brought from wildness into a domesticated state; naturally unafraid), humility (modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful; showing deferential).

While I was searching and thinking about all this, I came across this scripture:

  • Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands ~ Ephesians 5:21-24, "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything."

What I discovered is that I should be easily bent, flexed or modified to the influence of my husband. I should be soft, not hard, harsh, or loud. I should be tender. I should be beneficial to him and humble practicing modesty in my behavior, my attitude, and my spirit.

There are times that this is easy to do. Like... when he is planning a date.

However, most of the time this is hard because our wills clash. I lived alone for a long time before getting married. When we got married, he moved in to "my house", so I have felt like things should be done my way... especially in the kitchen. That is my domain. Then there is my car. I have a relatively new car. He has an old clunker. Not long after we were married, his car quit working. So, we have been sharing one car... my car. The list could go on. I am used to taking care of me. I have lived alone for a long time. I have developed my way of doing things from many trials and mistakes. I do not want to live through these mistakes again. It is hard to sit back and let him be bull headed and mess up "my stuff".

However, God is showing me that I need to be flexible... for the sake of my husband... he is more important than the stuff. I need to make sure that if I do say something about the way things are done, it is in a soft tone... not hard, harsh or loud. I need to be tender in the way I deal with everyday scheduling and stuff. I need to practice modesty in my behavior, attitude, and spirit and not let him rial me up because things have to be done my way, and I think I'm right.

Boy or boy is this going to be hard!

So my answer to my question of how to not interfere with my husband is to let him be him. Let him do things his way. Simple answer to write. Hard answer to carry out.

Homework for tonight. I read these on another website ( and was inspired to try them for myself. There are 7 questions or assignments. I'm going to try to do one a night. They go Monday - Sunday. Since it is Wednesday, I am starting with Wednesday.

Wednesday: Write down three things you can do that will be an encouragement to your husband.

Until next time...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

First Step in Learning to Respect

I have always been taught that a good wife respects her husband. That is the number one duty of a wife. I was taught that if you want to be a good help meet for your husband, you respect him. That is the number one need of a man, and the bible gives it as a mandate in Ephesians 5:33b - "and the wife must respect her husband."

However, I have found little in the way of answers as to how to respect my husband. I even ask in my premarriage counseling sessions how to do it and did not get an answer other than that I have to do it. I need to know how.

I am afraid that not knowing is ruining my marriage. Just loving each other and loving God does not seem like enough. I can feel that I am not giving my husband what he needs, so I have decided to research it myself and to put my journey online. I hope that if you are struggling with how to properly love God and your husband you can gain insight and encouragement from my journey. I will be using whatever God brings me to learn... bible studies, books, other websites, etc.

Today, I decided to start with the scriptural mandate and the dictionary.

Scripture: Ephesians 5:33b - "and the wife must respect her husband."

So what does respect mean? According to Microsoft Bookshelf 98, respect means:
  1. to feel or show deferential regard for; esteem
  2. to avoid violation of or interference with... such as in respecting the speed limit
  3. to relate or refer to; concern

Synonyms are: esteem, prize, appreciate

So, I assigned myself the following homework tonight:

  1. List one way I can show appreciation for my husband tonight. Then do it.
  2. Write out one way that I can make it a point to not violate him or interfere with my husband. How am I stepping on his toes at home? And, how can I stop?