Following God with Courage

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be

afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Meanderings on Marriage

Marriage is hard work. I had heard that my whole life, but until now, I did not really know what it meant. I have worked hard before, but there is something about the fact that I now have no personal space that makes marriage even harder than anything else I have worked at before. I want to bless my husband and to do him good and not harm all the days of his life, but then I get SO VERY FRUSTRATED with him.

I have started reading a book by Dr. Kevin Leman titled "7 things he'll never tell you {but you need to know}". The first thing that Dr. Leman told me that I needed to know was that my husband would run out of words. I am not the most verbal of females and my husband is rather verbal for a male, so while we have experienced this, it has not been a big problem, yet. Reading the first point of Dr. Leman was not very hard.

The second thing Dr. Leman told me was more timely for me. He says that boys never really do quite grow up... and that you wouldn't want them to. This point is harder for me. Just the other day I found myself wondering why my husband hadn't grown up in a particular area. I thought, "I knew this about him. I can not honestly say that it is a surprise or that I thought something different before we were married. However, now that we are married, it bugs the mess out of me at times."

I have a co-worker who is getting ready to get married within the next year. She and her fiance are reading through a book that is supposed to make sure that they have discussed everything before they get married and that they do not have any surprises once they do get married. It got me to thinking. My husband and I did not use such a book, but we knew each other pretty well. I can not honestly say that I have had any surprises about who he is, what he thinks about things, or how he approaches life. The big surprise for me has been how seemingly small things that did not seem like a big deal before marriage.... areas where we knew we were different/ ways that we process life or approach life differently.... are now huge. Now, several of those seemingly small things seem huge since our lives are so permanently linked. The fact that boys never really do quite grow up... that is one of the small things before marriage that feels huge for me now.

Dr. Leman says...
1. Baby him when he is sick. -- OK. Can do.
2. Let him win sometimes. -- When and how am I competing with my husband? I pray God will show me and give me the grace to let my husband win sometimes.
3. Let him be a boy. -- How? I pray God will show me.

I haven't finished the chapter. Maybe Dr. Leman has some great, practical advice. In the meantime, I am praying about how to deal with this in a personal way that makes me and my husband joyous and happy.

Until next time...

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