Birth Order

I am still reading "7 things he'll never tell you {but you need to know}" by Dr. Kevin Leman. The secontion I read today is "Your Grown-Up Boy and His Birth Order. Here are some quotes I'd like to remember:

• "Firstborns (that's me) or only children are achievers or overachievers and are usually scholarly... the oldest child is not only an achiever, but ordered, well-disciplined, and well-organized."


• "[Firstborns] tend to be dependant upon the family - meaning they will uphold the family values and that approval of the family is important to them."


• "A firstborn is an achiever, reliable, consicientious, cautious, and conservative... hard worker... someone who sees that all the needs of [their] family are met... perfectionist and competitive by nature... And when [they] fail at a task, [they] get really down on [themselves]."


• "If you are a firstborn, rein in your competitive urges. Let your husband "be a man" and take the lead once in a while. And when your own perfectionism kicks in, take the long-range view."

• "Middleborns (that's my husband) make very good peacemakers and negotiators. They make friends easily and are loyal... [they] are the most faithful marriage partners. They don't let stress get them down, but they attack problems with gusto to get them settled. They don't let conflict remain in a family for very long without talking about it and trying to resolve it... they have a lot of training in give-and-take."
  
• "But because a middle child is good at compromising, he may be hesitant to tell you what he really thinks, even when you ask."


• "If you're married to a middleborn, you have to watch carefully to make sure yo're not trampling his feelings. Because he is so susceptible to peer presure (what others think of him), he may tend to do things to make you and others happy."
  
• "If your husband is a middleborn, what can you do? Model for him that you really do want to hear what he thinks... Make sure you don't judge his opinion when he does share it with you... Assure him that he doesn't have to do something he doesn't want to do."