Following God with Courage

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be

afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

How to Properly Appreciate and not Interfeer with My Husband.

Yesterday, I gave myself two questions to answer for homework. They required a lot of thought and prayer. Here are my answers.

The first question I ask myself to answer was to list one way I can show appreciation for my husband. Well, one way I can show appreciation for my husband is through my speech to him and others. I have come to realize after my prayer that he really needs to hear me praise him. Last night I started by praising him to his mom and dad while we were at their house visiting. However, I have come to realize that I need to make a conscious effort to sincerely praise him everyday. This will not be easy. I have high expectations. I am a perfectionist. But, my husband is worth it. That is the decision I have to make. He is worth it, and he needs it. So, I make the decision today to find ways to praise him and to brag on him and to mean it.

The second question I gave myself involved figuring out how to "not interfere" with my husband or how to not be a hindrance or an obstacle. Well... the answer that God showed me for this one will not be easy. It involves submission. As I looked up submission, this is what I found:

  • Submission - The act of submitting to the power of another, or the state of being compliant; meekness. Synonyms are pliancy (easily bent or flexed; easily altered or modified to fit conditions; yielding readily to influence), softness (easily molded; not loud, harsh or irritating; a gentle disposition, tender) , goodness (the state of being good; beneficial), tameness (brought from wildness into a domesticated state; naturally unafraid), humility (modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful; showing deferential).

While I was searching and thinking about all this, I came across this scripture:

  • Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands ~ Ephesians 5:21-24, "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything."

What I discovered is that I should be easily bent, flexed or modified to the influence of my husband. I should be soft, not hard, harsh, or loud. I should be tender. I should be beneficial to him and humble practicing modesty in my behavior, my attitude, and my spirit.

There are times that this is easy to do. Like... when he is planning a date.

However, most of the time this is hard because our wills clash. I lived alone for a long time before getting married. When we got married, he moved in to "my house", so I have felt like things should be done my way... especially in the kitchen. That is my domain. Then there is my car. I have a relatively new car. He has an old clunker. Not long after we were married, his car quit working. So, we have been sharing one car... my car. The list could go on. I am used to taking care of me. I have lived alone for a long time. I have developed my way of doing things from many trials and mistakes. I do not want to live through these mistakes again. It is hard to sit back and let him be bull headed and mess up "my stuff".

However, God is showing me that I need to be flexible... for the sake of my husband... he is more important than the stuff. I need to make sure that if I do say something about the way things are done, it is in a soft tone... not hard, harsh or loud. I need to be tender in the way I deal with everyday scheduling and stuff. I need to practice modesty in my behavior, attitude, and spirit and not let him rial me up because things have to be done my way, and I think I'm right.

Boy or boy is this going to be hard!

So my answer to my question of how to not interfere with my husband is to let him be him. Let him do things his way. Simple answer to write. Hard answer to carry out.

Homework for tonight. I read these on another website ( and was inspired to try them for myself. There are 7 questions or assignments. I'm going to try to do one a night. They go Monday - Sunday. Since it is Wednesday, I am starting with Wednesday.

Wednesday: Write down three things you can do that will be an encouragement to your husband.

Until next time...

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