Following God with Courage

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be

afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

His Needs/ Her Needs...

Bob Barnes, in his book "What Makes a Man Feel Loved," lists these "Men's Needs" and "Women's needs."

Mens' Needs
1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouce
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration

Woman's Needs
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openess
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment

Kevin Leman listed 3 needs each in "7 Things You Need to Know But He'll Never Tell You".

Leman's His Needs:
1. Respected
2. Needed
3. Fulfilled

Leman's Her Needs:
1. Affection
2. Honest, open communication
3. Commitment to family

A combined list from the way I understand them would look like this:

His Needs:
1. Respect & Admiration
2. To be Needed
3. Sexual Fulfillment
4. Recreational Companionship
5. An Attractive Spouce
6. Domestic Support

Her Needs:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openess
4. Financial Support
5. Commitment to Family
6. Needs met without always needing to be asked

Here is a quote from Barnes' book. It is where my #6 under her needs comes from.

"Recognizing and meeting these needs for one another will mean a stronger marriage and the ability to get through the rocky times that come. A wife benefits greatly when her husband recognizes her needs and does his best to meet them - without always having to be asked!"

I do not really have any controle over the if, when, or how of my dear husband meeting my needs. But, I do over the if, when, and how of my meeting his. I choose now to purposfully meet his... no matter how I feel. Some of them are pretty hard for me to meet. They do not come naturally. But, with the LORD's help, I will do him good and not harm all the days of his life.

Until next time...

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