Husband Encouragement for the Week of July 5

Husband Encouragement

• Say "Thank You" often... & quickly after he does something for me.
• Make him a special snack.
• Put a love note in his lunch at least one day.
• Pray for him daily... his interactions at work, his computer business, his walk with the LORD, his leadership of our home, his loving me.
• Share with him how God is answering my prayers.
• Keep the laundry folded.

Husband Encouragement for Week of June 21, 2010

Husband Encouragement

• Remember to say please and thank you... use manners.
• Send him a love note or poem in his lunch.
• Bake cookies for him.
• Believe in him and let him know that I do.
• Pray for his interactions at work.
• Pray for him to grow closer to God.
• Pray for him to have wisdom to lead our family.
• Let him lead our family & support him without taking over.

On Sweet Names, Respect, & Admiration

I read a blog in the last couple of weeks that was warning that our words can hurt & harm our husbands. It really hit me. I started becoming more conscience of how I was talking to my husband. I started watching things that I felt and said that I had never thought about before. It was very constructive advice, and I think it helped me to be a better wife. If we do not speak with love, respect, and admiration to our husbands and about our husbands, it hurts them inside (even if they never say it), and it hurts our relationship and true intimacy with them.

Several years back, I had a pastor named Bro. Fred. He had advice for when you want to get rid of a bad habit... a habit of the flesh such as any from the following verse. Note here that speaking harshly with our husbands or speaking out of anger or hurtful words could be put under quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, division, or envy depending on the situation.

Galatians 5:19-21 (New Living Translation)

"¹⁹ When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God."

Bro. Fred said that if you want to get rid of one of these habits of the flesh then you need to pray, yes, but then you need to start replacing it with a good habit. The good habits or habits of the Spirit are listed in the verses immediately following the habits of the flesh.

Galatians 5:22-23 (New Living Translation)

" ²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

So... I have been looking for ways to replace any habit of fleshly talk to or about my husband with Spirit led talk to or about my husband.

Last night at the end of my ladies bible study when we were sharing prayer requests and praises, my sister-in-law was praising God for the FLY Lady because she has found the help in disciplined homemaking that she had been praying for in the FLY Lady's site. As she was talking about what all was involved in the FLY Lady's plan, she mentioned that the aspect that really won her over was the FLY Lady calling her husband her "dear husband". My sister-in-law said that was an example of respect that she wanted to follow. That really made an impression on me.

I thought, "Wow. Such a small thing, but such a BIG thing." In the Spirit talk habit that I have been trying to develop it shows love, kindness, & gentleness as well as respect as an important and dear part of the wife's life.

Then I though about how I had been watching how I talked to my husband and trying to avoid talking to or about him out of frustration... I have been trying to replace this by adding praise for my husband to my daily talk... self talk, talk to friends, talk to him. I have been trying to consciously say "thank you" more often and to send him love texts and love notes and to tell him I love him more (not just when he tells me).

All this led me to think about how my husband and I have pet names for each other. They are simple. He calls me "My Love" and I call him "My Love". But, I have trouble doing it in front of others. I think this is probably because we did not have sweet names for each other in my family home growing up. My parents just didn't do it... except for my dad to me...

However, after listening to my sister-in-law talk about how the FLY Lady calling her husband "my dear husband" really impressed her, I have come to a decision. I am going to start working on using the sweet name of "My Love" more openly for my husband as a sign of respect and admiration. I want to pump my dear husband, "My Love," up and do him good and not harm all the days of his life.

I'd like to give a big thank you to my sister-in-law for so openly sharing from her heart and to the FLY Lady for sharing what she has learned about "keeping" a home and a good outlook on life.

Until next time...

Husband Encouragement for Week of June 14, 2010

• Be kind even when I feel bad (which is often with my job and the busy summer schedule it entails).
• Thank him often for all his help.
• Send him love notes.
• Pray for him and his daily interactions at work.
• Pray for him to have a close, growing relationship with Jesus.
• Pray for him to have wisdom as he leads our family.
• Bake him a cake.
• Dress up really special for him for our 10 month anniversary.

Husband Encouragement for Week of June 7

• Use manners... please, thank you, after you...
• Thank him often.
• Put love notes in his lunch.
• Brag on him to his Aunt & Uncle Monday night.
• Brag on him to his friends on Friday night.
• Tell him how I want him around.
• Tell him how I need him.
• Pray for him to make wise financial decisions.
• Pray for all of the decisions he will make this week.
• Pray that he has close communion with God this week.
• Seek to encourage him and bless him in at least one way each day.

Husband Encouragement for Week of May 31, 2010

Husband Encouragement

• Practice manners (please, thank you, after you...)
• Flirt & carry through
• Do at least one thing special for him every day
• Pray for him to grow closer to God and follow Him daily
• Consciously work on understanding him, or at least knowing where he comes from & thinking about how my actions affect him
• Fold laundry
• Do more housework to balance the chore list

He Wants to Please You

Here are some more notes, from "7 Things He'll Never Tell You" by Dr. Kevin Leman, that I want to remember:

• "Your husband wants to have sex with you for his own sexual relief. But even more than he wants his own pleasure, he wants to please you. He enjoys seeing how much you enjoy the pleasure he can give you... If he fails to do that, he'll end up feeling inadequate, lonely, and unloved."
• That means your guy wants to be romantic, but he may be worried that he can't pull it off. That he won't know what to do or that he'll fail... So if you're smart, you'll help him."
• "HOW TO GROW YOUR OWN CRAVING FOR SEX: A fulfilling sex life is one of the most powerful marital glues a couple can have. But often the biggest enemies of sex among women are being too busy, tired, and stressed. One women's magazine puts it best: 'What's the first thing to go when you're busy, tired , and stressed? If you said sex, you're not alone. An estimated 24 million American women say they don't have time, are too exhausted, or just aren't in the mood for sex, and more than a third of Redbook readers say that being too tired is their number-one excuse for not having sex. So we put it off for later -- but later can easily become never. In case you haven't noticed abstinence doesn't make the loins grow hotter, it just begets more abstinence. Sex on the other hand, begets more sex. Studies show that lovemaking elevates the levels of brain chemicals associated with desire. So the best way to increase your yearning for sex is to have it.'"
• "Having a great sex life is an exhilarating experience; it can bond a husband and wife like cement until there is nothing that they won't do for each other."